Years Gone By
by thesecretrosegarden
Summary: Three years after forging a coalition, Clarke and Lexa meet again at Polis. With their world at war again, their reunion does not quite go as expected. Will they be able to overcome life's obstacles and be together finally?


This is the result of a Tumblr roleplay, written by me (xxwanhedaxx ) and the lovely commanderofthecoalition (ascendingthrone on Tumblr ), so keep that in mind when you're reading it. Other than that, enjoy!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

Polis. It had been well over three years, since Clarke had last set foot into the capital, and memories of the events back then immediately flooded her mind. It was a feeling of nostalgia, as she moved past the people at the market, easily finding her way to Lexa's tower. The leader of skaikru had been invited for a gathering, and since that had been her position for a few months now, it was the first time for the former Wanheda, to travel back to where the coalition had begun. She could not deny a certain nervousness, the thought of seeing Lexa again after so long was…exciting. Yet a lot had changed in both their lives, and she was not sure of how the other woman would react to it. Together with two other ambassadors, Clarke was transported to the top level by the elevator, still not used to that strange thing. Her cloak was taken off by the entrance door, where - again - it was ensured that no one carried weapons. Titus greeted her, a surprised look fixed on her rounded stomach for a second, before he allowed her to ented the room. Immediately, her blue orbs searched for the Heda.

The gathering was of the up-most intention to offer reassurance between the clans, guaranteeing the coalition to still be in place. Throughout the expanse of open land, each clan had fallen to their own individual traditions, still guided by the laws of the capitol. _Skaikru_ was the one and only additional clan added to the coalition in recent years, securing peace between the Grounders and the Sky People. For now, they had lived in peace, but side-conversations of an uprising caught wind of the ears of Polis. This very council would ensure the security of the coalition- if not- _Heda_ would act on the remarks being made.

The Commander shifted nonchalantly amidst the balcony that extended outwards behind the throne room where the gathering would be held. Her expression remained implanted with that of strength and honor, warpaint plastered over her eyes. Titus was the first to announce his entrance, " _Heda_ \- Clarke _kom Skaikru_ has offered her presence." He moved aside willingly, letting the leader enter in from behind him before dismissing himself in a brief nod to the distant corner of the room.

"Clarke _kom Skaikru_ -" _Heda's_ words were enunciated, well versed as she sauntered into the throne room with her arms clasped behind her back.

Clarke's gaze shifted through the nicely appointed room, remembering, as if it had been yesterday, the ceremony, which had allowed Skaikru to join the coalition. It was hard to believe, that years had gone by since then and that the fragile peace had really lasted for so long. The blond was no fool, however. Even she had heard about the uprisings and listened with worry to the rumours, unwilling to step into another battle yet again. Then again, it was not on her to decide, whether or not to partake in a war, should it occur, since she owed Lexa the assistance as one of the 13 tribes. Truth be told, Clarke hoped it would never come this far.

Hearing footsteps coming from the balcony, she turned around and laid eyes on the Heda, for the first time in years. She had not changed much, at least not on the outside. The same green eyes rested upon Clarke, mustering her and as usual, when they were alone, the ghost of a smile played around both their lips. "Heda", she greeted and would have bowed, but being heavy with child, she skipped that part and only lowered her head for a moment, before looking up again. "It is good to see you."

 _Heda_ kept her arms restrained behind her back, stepping out of the cast of sunlight to obtain a better view of the leader of _Skaikru_. Her gaze rested upon the extended stomach of Clarke's bodice. The Commander lifted her chin as a dry swallow ran down her throat, the action visible as if she had the inability to quench her dehydration. She would've expected Clarke to be of child- yet it still caught her by surprise, even after all these years. Lexa shifted slightly, stepping around to the front of her throne and nodding her cranial lightly in welcome. "Clarke, it is good to see you as well."

Clarke returned the nod and took a step back, aware of the change in Lexa's demeanor, as soon as her gaze fell upon Clarke's stomach. It was obvious, that the Heda had not expected to see her like this, and Clarke could not blame her. The distance between them, however, felt uncomfortable. Although she knew, that years had passed, she had hoped that the familiarity between them had survived. It had been an impudent wish, she realized now, and retreated into a corner, as the other ambassadors of the clans arrived one by one, until the gathering was complete and could begin.

The Commander stood silent as the ambassadors of the remaining twelve clans began to file into the throne room. Her mind still boggled by the situation of seeing Clarke after the span of years. However, her attention needed to focus now on the problems that lay ahead of them all. The looming threat of the imposing Ice Nation radicals were a danger to any of the clans– even that of Lexa's life itself.

"Ambassadors of the twelve clans," _Heda_ 's voice boomed over the inaudible chatter of the individuals in the room, "I have summoned you all here to discuss a matter that puts us all in the line of danger." The room immediately fell to a desolate silence as Lexa's eyes scanned the room, immediately falling to King Roan causing the Commander to lift her head with pursed lips of disinterest momentarily. Her lips fell slightly parted before she removed her glare from Roan and back to the entirety of the room. "The Ice Nation has lingering radicals who pose a threat to the safety of us al-"

"For _you_!" A stray ambassador remarked from the frontline, causing Lexa's gaze to shift into a hardened gaze directed at the Grounder– eyes laced with a maniacal emotion of anger.

Clarke had never attended a gathering, after the ceremony to welcome Skaikru into the coalition. The same tension filled the room now, and it was more obvious than ever, that Lexa's peace was built upon a delicate layer of ice, that could break any moment. The voice heard over the speech of the heda proved it, and Clarke's blue hues searched the crowd for the one that had spoken, before they fell upon Roan, who arched a brow at her and smirked. Clarke had never quite understood him, but luckily for them all, he had proven to be not his mother's son. The peace with Azgeda had lasted, up until now.

 _Heda_ 's eyes glanced to her right to see Indra intently stepping forwards to interject between her and the individual Grounder who made the outburst. Her focus followed her every step, interjecting when she saw the warrior's hand falling to the pommel of her sword in a bluff.

" _Indra_ ," Lexa's voice spoke up docile, but sternly, tongue rolling the 'R' clearly letting her _Trigedasleng_ language override her tone. The Chief of Tondc retreated back to stand alongside the Commander, a scowl implanted on her features as Lexa began once more disregarding the outburst of the Grounder before her.

"We must be prepared for any interference or threat to this coalition- for the safety of us all." Lexa's glare fixated to each ambassador evenly, hesitating lightly upon Clarke before shifting her gaze away. "This is to notify all clans to be on the up-most alert of the Ice Nation radicals- protect your people, protect the coalition." Lexa's jaw flexed lightly as she exhaled through her nose, lifting her chin once more to regain her demeanor. The expressions of each ambassador were unreadable, but they nodded in understanding to their _Heda_ 's words.

It felt like history repeating. Three years ago, they had stood before Lexa, the same situation at hand. And it seemed as if the Heda was still battling the same internal wars, she had been fighting back then. Her position was constantly being threatened and challenged, it seemed, and Clarke could only imagine how exhausting it had to be, to always justify every step she took. Lexa's authority had grown with the years, it seemed, because no one dared to speak up again inside the room. Everyone nodded in agreement, and not even a whisper of disrespect was being heard. Clarke studied those around her, trying to find out, which one of the ambassadors were to be better handled with caution, but their faces were stone.

The Commander stood remarkably silently for a few passing moments before looking back to Indra and dipping her head, dismissing the warrior first. Her attention lifted to look to the room of the thirteen clan ambassadors as her voice ricocheted throughout the room once more, "You all have been notified of what we face. This council thus ends." With that, the ambassadors and their guards slowly began to file out of the throne room, every other seeming to occasionally glance back and bow their head in slight respect to Lexa who returned the notion with the faint bow of her own head.

 _Heda_ turned on her heel, arms still behind her back as she approached her throne-chair. Once in capable distance, she removed her hands from around her back and turned to sit on the chair, settling comfortably and letting her arms hang onto the handles of the throne and crossing her legs over. Lexa lifted her chin slightly as she noticed Clarke still ambling in the back of the room nearest to Titus.

As soon as Lexa dismissed everyone, the ambassadors fled the room, it seemed. No one wasted one moment to stay, they all headed for the doors. Only Roan and Clarke took their time, greeting each other briefly, before Roan left as well. It was Titus, who approached Wanheda, and engaged her into a conversation. He had not changed much in the last years, but it was nice to see, that despite their differences, he still thought well of Clarke. They spoke about the changes in Arkadia and the dawning threat of the Azgeda rebels, before Clarke excused herself and took a step towards Lexa.

Nearly carefully, she approached the throne, unsure of what to say. But she did not want to depart, without the opportunity to reconnect with Lexa, so she just folded her arms in front of her stomach and allowed a smile to play around her mouth. "May I have a word, Heda?"

Lexa lifted her chin slightly, not stirring from her throne, but offering up a docile smile. It had been too long since she spoken to the Skaikru Ambassador and Heda couldn't reject the offer of a rekindling conversation between the two of them. "Of course," she dipped her head lightly, her eyes briefly closing before she brought her gaze back onto Clarke. "Do you wish to speak here," Lexa cocked a brow slightly whilst tilting her head before adding, "Or would you prefer it to be elsewhere?" It was only to remain polite in the aspect of privacy if Clarke wish to simply hold a simple conversation of where the two had been over the past years.

"I would prefer a conversation in private", Clarke spoke, as Lexa accepted her wish to talk. It had been so long, since she had lived here for quite some time, and although the blond was sure, that the bond they had established then, was long lost, she was at least curious to find out, how Lexa was doing. The progress of the Nightbloods also interested her, for she had grown quite fond of Aden. Taking a step back, she made space for Lexa to descend her throne and lead the way to a more discrete surrounding, far away from the eyes and ears of Titus.

Lexa dipped her head gradually, respecting Clarke's request to speak in private. Her hands pushed her upwards and off her throne, shawl dragging behind her from her shoulder-plate fixated onto her bodice. She stepped down the few steps that led up to her throne and folded her arms behind her back once more. The Commander stepped ahead of Clarke, leading the member of Skaikru to the exit of the room. Her cranial tilted to Titus, bowing it tentatively dismissing his presence to not follow as she led Clarke to her chambers.

–

Upon reaching the entrance, a guard opened the grand doors and Lexa stepped aside, gesturing for Clarke to enter the room before her. Lexa followed in suit, thanking the guard as the door shut behind her. " _So_ , Clarke," she began whilst stepping into the room behind the blonde, "What do you wish to discuss?"

The blond followed quietly, her own movements less graceful and fluid than Lexa's. With one last nod, she said goodbye to Titus, before stepping into the corridor, her gaze drifting over the interior of the Tower, noticing every small change that had been made as they walked. As they entered Lexa's chambers, the familiarity comforted Clarke and she turned towards the Heda, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "It has been a long time, since we spoke. I thought you wished to…reconnect as much as I do, Lexa." In private, Clarke had never called her commander and she would not start to do so now.

Lexa lifted her cranial at the informality that Clarke openly used; it had been a long while since someone, but Titus had directly referred to her by her given name. There was a moment of hesitation before she let her voice rise above the silence, " _Reconnect_?" Her glance shifted away from the blonde briefly as she stepped further into the room, stepping around Clarke whilst speaking up once more, "If I recall, you returned to Skaikru and had yet to return, Clarke- until now. However, I see you have been… busy." Lexa stopped in her tracks, head turning to the left slightly to look at the woman out of the corner of her eye cautiously.

"That sounds like you disapprove of my condition", Clarke remarked, following Lexa into the room. It was no news, that the commander had been attracted to her back then, and although it had always flattered Clarke, she had been unable to return the feelings. Something both of them had known, since the first time Lexa had kissed her, but it had not stood in their way to become strong political allies. "I apologize for not coming sooner. I had a hard time adapting to my people's way of living and…finding out who I am these days. I was not with Skaikru all of the time, but I am chancellor now and responsible again."

"I understand," Lexa concluded dipping her, but offering a subtle smile in the direction of the Ambassador behind her as she turned. "Skaikru's way of living is- atypical." Her brow arched upwards in sheer amusement at her prod, "It is good to see you, Clarke." The Commander let her arms fall away from behind her back as stopped once more. "I see you are with child," it was true Lexa held attraction towards the young woman in the past, but she respected Clarke's choices and let the woman love who she chose, "Congratulations." This time a sincere smile twitched across flushed- pink lips. "Though, I will say- I am surprised Bellamy let you come- when such a threat is posed and there is no doubt your means to defend yourself are weakened." It wasn't meant to be of an insult, but of care for a long-time friend.

Clarke's heart sank in her chest, when Lexa mentioned Bellamy so easily, knowing that he could be the only one to be the father of her unborn child. And she was right in her assumption, but the situation was more complicated than that. "He is dead. So I assume, he no longer has anything to say about where I go and what I do", Clarke answered, averting her gaze, because it still hurt to think about him being gone. Most days, she woke up in the morning and reached out in bed, waiting to find him there, but only touched an empty space. Life without him was something Clarke would never really get used to, but Lexa once had told her, that all love was weakness, so she straightened her posture and looked back at the commander, blue orbs finding green ones.

Lexa's gaze shifted downwards realizing her falter in words. Her tongue licked her dry lips as she swallowed back a breath. "I'm sorry-" the words tumbled from her lips as her eyes slightly glanced towards Clarke's direction. She hesitated before averting her gaze back, realizing that she'd upset Clarke by her words. After a few seconds of passing silence, the Commander edged forward and bowed her head lightly holding the blonde's gaze with her own, "He was a strong warrior, Clarke." She offered up a comforting smile, hoping her words would resonate in truth in Clarke's mind.

"He was", Clarke said and smiled sadly. It was honorable of Lexa to find such nice words for Bellamy, after everything he had done in the past, and Clarke surely appreciated them. It was still hard to believe, that a simple sickness had struck him down. He should have died like a warrior at least, and not in a hospital bed, plagued by fevers and pain. But in the end, the only thing that mattered was, that he was gone. "Thank you, Lexa. Tell me how you have been."


End file.
